Empty Friday night

Strange... I've drunk a little beer this evening and, just very little, and now I feel so dizzy I can't think anymore... So here I am, writing my blog again, again without any purpose, again without any thoughts. I'm not even able to see what I'm writing. My senses are asleep. That's something I can't do. I can't fall asleep. I can't force myself to go to bed. Being stuck in the existence, waiting for something which won't ever come. It can't come, as I don't know what it is. I'm so tired, though I eventually slept last night... For the first time since the 30th April. Since then I've been sleeping for only about four hours a day and my body's getting knackered. Especially at night... When there's no one I could be awake for. I need to learn, I know I have to... But I just can't. There's nothing in my head, my brain's left me some time ago... But in the middle of this "nothing" there's... There's someone. I'm in love. This is the last thing I'm able to think of just now. The very last thing. That somewhere in the "far" east there's someone who's able to make my life worth living. And this is the first positive thing in this blog. Sometimes it's good to stop thinking completely...