Another night and another post in my blog. I've never felt such a beauty consuming my whole body before... But it has made someone else rather depressed... There's no white without black and no black without white...
How to explain to him that he's more important than anyone else has ever been for me? That since I've known him, I just feel like myself. That feeling like myself is the best thing that could ever happen to me... And that if he loves me, he should be glad he loves really ME, not just some image of me... I'm offering my whole self to him and he seems not to want to hear...
Yes, on the other hand, I want to stay a little independent... I need to... Cause if I lose my independence, I'll lose myself again and there would be no one he could love... This is me, this is my life, my self, my soul... But there's also this connection... Between me and him... And he just MUST know this... That although we're both independent on each other, we're connected... Cause when we're together, there's just the two of us and the world ceases to exist... But I just can't give up feeling the way I feel now... I can't lose myself again... Not now I've found my soul after so much time of being in exile...
I have to be alone in a way, but on the other hand I can't imagine my life without him anymore... Well, in a way I can. But that's something positive, although he maybe doesn't realize this now. I've found myself, I've found my inner calmness, I'm balanced... Which is something I needed so much! I've always wanted to feel the way I feel now again...
If he loves me, he must accept certain things. He must accept I'm not a villain in essence. That I'm not the naughty girl he met on the net one day in December anymore. That I can be also nice... When I feel like myself. Which is what I feel now. I'm just trying to explain... But it's hard... But if he is not the one to understand all this, no one will.
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