Photo night

... Every fucking night I cry for the three years spend with the one I thought I'd marry one day...
I have no evidence any more of the two of us being together for so much time... I'm not really sure whether it was right or not but I've got rid of each and every photo of him which I found in my NB... Where there were the two of us in a folder, there's only me left... He's never existed... There's only a half of the memories... Only one half... And now I miss the other... I've never thought photos were so important. I hate them, I hate the image of myself... I prefer to conserve things in my mind, which is unfortunately not so perfect. One day the images in my head will finally disappear and there won't be not even memories left...
We didn't have so many photos together though... Not more than ten... One evening was enough for him to get x-times more photos with his fiancée. No, not him... There's nothing like HIM in these new photos... It's not the one I knew so well... Well? I don't know... And he didn't know me either... I put three years of my life in a dustbin and then I threw them away. As there wasn't so much evidence, it was quite easy... And it seems quite strange to me how easy it was in comparison with other "funny stuff" lasting for a much shorter time... But maybe it's just a stupid problem in my head and in my attitude... Maybe I'm jealous... That someone else has at least something while I've got just nothing. Nothing. I wanted a completely new beginning... But all I've got is just emptiness.