"Christmas spirit"

There are quite a few reasons why I hate Christmas:

• Supermarkets full of people make me depressed.
• I always realize how lonely I feel.
• All I want is to lock myself in my room not to see anyone.
• I'm not quite sure where I belong.
• My mother is depressed and doesn't know what to do.
• My father makes me mad when he participates on the obligate shopping in a supermarket (where there's nothing I'd like to buy although I know I should buy something not to die of hunger) and is always impatient (thinking we're too slow) although it's in fact none of his business and no one asked him to come with us.
• My grandma has an obsession consisting in making us eat more than we can.
• We still play a sort of a game with presents although everyone has been buying presents just for themselves for some time already (but my father insists on this ritual).
• I feel I need love and I feel I don't get it in the form I'd want it.
• I end up with the thinking that I have no future.
• There's still the Memory and it hurts.

To be continued... In the morning:).